Ed started taking acting classes 3 months ago and he's been an absolute douche bag ever since. He even wears an ascot. He's over-enunciating everything and asking me to do "trust exercises". Screw that, man. He was too theatrical before he signed himself up for these classes anyway which, by the way, are held at The Los Angeles Institute of Emotions. (Way to undersell it.)
And he's been bringing all of his theatre people over. They're as embarrassing as Ed. They all gossip like girls and say things like, "That was really brave of you to admit that" and "You have to be resilient throughout your journey". Um, when did we all move to a commune in the 70's, I'd like to know. Plus they don't even say a word to me. Not a peep. They just hang around smoking herb cigarettes and eating vegan cookies.
So this morning (while I was cleaning up Ed's barf, if you must know) he asked me if I thought he was, "too husky for film." Well, husky is something Ed should shoot for. He's a Dom DeLuisian-style of actor. The problem is, he thwarts any plan to exercise. He tells me his family suffers from "weak knees". A few months ago he started posting sticky notes on the fridge that read, "Ed regrets to inform you that he is not up for any form of exercise today. This includes all forms of cardio and weights." Except he spelled it "waits". And I didn't even point it out, but maybe I should. Maybe I should tell him that he can't pretend to be a man of letters if he can't fucking spell. I mean, come on. "Waits". Really, Ed? I wonder what his fake-english-accented friends would have to say about that. Is bad spelling part of Ed's journey?
I guess I'll just see how this plays out. I imagine it'll wind up in the same file as his scrapbooking, beauty school, and storm chasing endeavors. The thing about Ed though is this - his heart's as husky as his acting style. I'll keep you posted.
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