Stop it!

I need everyone to stop saying, 

"That's what I'm talkin' about!" and/or "Vegas, baby!"

Just stop saying that. 

Seriously. 

Stop. 

It.

Doggles

Nuff said...

Let's Talk About Squirrels

Squirrels are...I was going to say, fascinating, but that's pushing it isn't it?  I do, however, have a true-crime story about some squirrels I knew.

In the backyard of a small house I used to rent on the east side of Los Angeles, was a large, weirdly shaped avocado tree. All the squirrels in the neighborhood loved it. They hung out in it, swung around on it, just in general had a great time in the tree. The one drawback was this, the squirrels were not used to eating such high fat, gastronomic riches and because of that, they got fat. And because of that, instead of swinging and jumping around, they started to mainly just lounge around in the tree. Lounging and plucking the ripe fruit.  And as we all know, sitting around and eating avocados makes you fat. And they got super fat.

So one evening, round about eight in the p.m., I heard what can only be described as an all-out baller of a fight between Sven (the blond-ish, surprisingly low-key, Nordic-y squirrel) and Sartoosh (the middle-eastern-y, depressive squirrel). It was rough. It was violent. It was curiously entertaining.

The next morning while picking up some dog poop in the backyard, I saw Sartoosh lying on the ground. I knew in an instant that he was dead and even in death, Sartoosh looked depressed. I don't like picking up dead things so I waited until my husband got home and had him pick up the dead squirrel. As he scooped Sartoosh up, I reminded him about the bad ass fight we'd heard the night before. We had a murder on our hands, I told him. But my husband insisted that Sartoosh had packed on the pounds and probably tried to leap from from limb to limb as he had in his youth and fell accidentally to his death.  I suppose there's two schools of thought about most things, so I let it go without further argument. Mostly because I felt kind of embarrassed to have a fight about squirrel murder. But it was murder. Everyone knew it. Especially Sven.