Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Buddy (Cathedral City Part 4)


He knew it. He knew he should have paid more for the sign. He'd been pinching pennies for years just to buy the store, never mind adding the gas pump. But, he realized too late, you just shouldn't cut certain corners.

Buddy was just closing up when he heard the faint sizzle of the "Q" and the "u" burning out.

Now, in bold neon, his life's work was called "..icky Mart".

He shut the cash register drawer and leaned against the counter. He'd done everything right. The station was located next to a freeway entrance. He kept it clean and well stocked, even adding more health conscious snacks. He made sure the prices were reasonable and he was always polite. Always.

He'd been brought up that way. Manners were important in his family. And hard work. Being sensible and playing fair.

His whole life he'd played by the rules and all he had to show for it was the icky mart.

Eight years ago he thought he'd had it made. He'd known Becky since second grade and from the moment he saw her and her shiny red hair he'd felt like she was the one for him. They got married in her parents backyard when they were both twenty four.

He'd taken good care of her, he never doubted that. He'd done his best to love her well.

But Becky wanted more out of life. Or at least that's what she told him. "I want more, Buddy. I don't want to just sit around this dusty old town until I die. Don't you want more? Don't you?"

It felt to Buddy like she was pleading with him.

He'd told that he did, that's why he'd been saving up for the Quicky Mart. He told her his plans to add a gas pump and how that would bring in more money. That they could finally afford to move out of their apartment and buy a little house. Maybe even one with a pool. She'd looked at him like he was speaking Japanese. Just staring at him. Or past him. She left two days later.

For a while he'd waited for her to come back, but after two months he'd boxed up what she'd left behind.

He never knew how much Becky had liked to read. Half of what she owned were books. It made him feel sad for her. He never realized how big her dreams really were.

Buddy had dreams, too. Just different dreams, he guessed. He loved Cathedral City. He'd grown up here, just like his mom and dad had. He loved the look of the desert mountains at sunset, and the dry winds that blew.

And, if he were being really honest with himself, which he tried very hard to be, he didn't miss Becky all that much. Oh, he missed her company. Someone to have breakfast with, go to the movies with, someone to sit out on the porch with on a warm, cozy evening. But he didn't really miss Becky, the person. He felt awful for that.

Buddy knew that he was waiting. For what, he wasn't sure, but there was an itch inside. Maybe that's what Becky had felt.

Buddy thought that once he'd opened the Quicky Mart, once the pump was installed, he'd feel more at ease. That his soft ache would end.

But now, here he was, low on funds, with a burned out sign. Living in the same apartment that he'd first rented with his runaway wife, boxes of her left-behind books stacked in his carport.

He felt stupid even thinking about it, but years ago, when he saw the movie, Ghost, it had affected him. It was silly, it was Hollywood magic, but it had made him yearn for a love like that. He knew he didn't have anything like that with Becky. But Buddy was nothing if not practical. His life was solid, that's what counted. That was real.

Yet somehow, the movie stayed with him. To love someone that powerfully. Not out of duty, or responsibility, but from your heart. Because you had no other choice. How would that feel?

He stashed what little cash there was in the safe, wiped down the counter and shut off the radio. He still couldn't get that Lita Ford song out of his head.

What he needed, he told himself, was a good night's sleep and some straight thinking. He had to stop it with the romance. Buddy laughed to himself. Ghost. Good thing he hadn't told anyone.

He was just shutting off the lights when he saw her. Standing next to the gas pump. A couple of suitcases in the backseat of her Camry.

Buddy couldn't take his eyes off of her.

And then it happened. She turned her gaze toward Buddy, standing all alone in his dimly lit store.

He could feel his pulse race. And, more than that, his lonely, hopeful heart felt full for the very first time in his life.

They stood there, these two strangers, their eyes locked on one another, the heat of the desert night surrounding them.

Because they had no other choice.

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