Exactamundo!

I haven't posted something in several days and for those of you who may be worried that the reason for this is because I was attacked by a mountain lion - you're almost right.

Yes, I came face to face (or face to three-feet-away face) with a wildcat of sorts. Here's how the whole thing went down: I was hiking with our dog Ed (cool under pressure, I must say) and we decided to cut through the woods to a different trail when all of the sudden Ed stopped in his tracks and refused to budge. Now, this can happen from time to time with Ed because, as I've mentioned before, he's a little on the husky side, but this time I sensed he meant bidness. He lifted his nose to the sky and was breathing really heavily. Again, due to his plus size, I immediately thought he may be suffering a heart attack. As I knelt down next to him, out of the woods walked a mountain lion and here's what happens when you see a mountain lion in realsies - it blows your mind. Plus, you kind of want to pet it.

We stayed stock still and Ed pressed against me until I thought I would tip over.  All I could think of was Arthur Fonzerelli - just keep it cool, fool.  I did my best.  Ed and I spoke not a word.

As luck would have it, two Screaming Mimi's came around the bend and that caught the mountain lion's attention. They got an eyeful and started shrieking, I kid you not, "Run! Run! It's a cat! Run!"

I shouted at them, doing my best to keep my Fonzi-style cool, "Don't move! Stop screaming! Don't look it in the eye! Stay close together and shut up! It won't hurt you!" The mountain lion crept their way. I realized that this was the moment to make our getaway, but at the same time, I realized that if the Ranting Rita's were killed, I would lose a lot of beauty sleep that I simply can't afford to, so we were forced to stay.

Soon after the poor cat crept back into the woods and we all made our way safely down the trails, the two chicks yelling at me when I admitted I was just spouting nonsense and had no idea what to do when a mountain lion approached.

At the bottom of the trail, they met up with their fellas, describing at length (in their shockingly shrill voices) what had happened.

Ed and I continued to keep our cool, walked to the car, hopped in, cried a little, then went home.