She Shoots, She Hoards!

I've been kicking around the idea of becoming a hoarder for quite some time now. There are several solid reasons why and I wouldn't mind sharing them with you:
-You can probably get a guest spot on a TV show. (Yes, you'll be lumped in with the kooks who stockpile sticky Orange Julius cups and cat litter, but hey, that's showbiz.)
-You'll bring your neighborhood closer together by giving them something sensational to talk about.
-You'll have reference material/current events at your fingertips (if twined newspapers happens to be your thing).
-I'm thinking that people may tread more lightly around you due to your mildly unsound mind.
-Kiss cleaning good-bye.
-You'll be a little bit more like Delta Burke, which is always a great thing.
Some real positives and certainly food for thought.